Ask Gabby Gayle


By Gayle Lagman-Creswick

Dear Gabby Gayle:
I am a widow in my 60s. Something has happened to me that I never thought would happen at my age. I have fallen in love! I have been a widow for 20 years and I really never thought of having another man in my life. I am enjoying this relationship; but now Frank has proposed marriage to me, and I am having misgivings. This is my problem: I have a bad heart. I have had one heart attack and the doctors have told me that my condition can only be treated with medication. Frank’s first wife died of a heart attack. I have not told him about this. Should I end this right now?
Signed, Heart Troubles

Dear Heart: Why? Relationships are what they are: No guarantees, no promises to live, no promise of longevity. They are meant to be enjoyed for however long they last. I do subscribe to a program of honesty between couples. That honesty includes health, finance, and skeletons in the closet, whatever. That said, if you do not wish to marry, there is no reason you cannot continue to enjoy the relationship.
Good luck! Gabby Gayle

Dear Gabby Gayle:
I read in your column about the woman who claims to be following the speed limit and is receiving honks from other drivers. You seemed to be encouraging her. I disagree. If she is receiving honks, she should take the clue and drive with the traffic flow. I probably honked at her myself. It infuriates me to be in a hurry and some old gal or guy is piddling along in front of me. I say, Speed up, Bessy!
Signed, Good Driver

Dear Driver: I will stick to my guns. Follow the speed limit. I am not an advocate of going slower than the speed limit either, unless the weather requires slower speeds. I am more irritated by the eager weavers who are darting in and out of traffic and cutting people off, only to end up at the stop light with me. I would venture to say that more accidents are caused by people in a hurry than are caused by those driving the speed limit.

Dear Gabby Gayle:
I am a man of means … not a millionaire, but close. I have two sons who do not give a darn about me. I gave them an education. I helped them get their businesses started. They both moved away and do not even bother to call me to see how I am doing. They seem to keep in close touch with each other. On the other hand, there is a young couple living next door to me who seems to really care about me. They check on me every day, bring me home-cooked food, invite me for holidays, send their nice kids over to keep me company and play chess with me. They seem more like family to me than my own family. I am thinking about leaving my estate to my neighbors instead of my sons. What do you think?
Signed, Dad

Dear Dad: I am an advocate of the belief that your estate is yours, to do with as you see fit. I do believe it would be a good idea to let your sons know that you are hurt by the fact that they never call or visit. Maybe they do not think you need a relationship with them. You would not be the first person to leave estates to those who love them … even their cats and dogs!

Dear Gabby Gayle:
When I read about people having to forego their trip to Europe, or keep their Lexus for another year, or buy their kids a Honda instead of a luxury car, due to the economy, I think, “I wish they could see how the other half lives.” I worry about whether I can afford my medical care, support my fifteen year old car, and have enough food to eat . Will you please tell them that my heart cries for them?
Signed, Worse Off

Dear W.O.: You just did! And there are others even worse off…with no home, no transportation, no job and no food!

If you wish to send a question for the column, please send your question to Ask Gabby Gayle in care of this newspaper or to

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