Ask Gabby Gayle

gabbygayle

By Gayle Lagman-Creswick

Dear Gabby Gayle:  I have read quite a few complaints about dating sites. I had a great experience. I thought your readers should hear it. My very first acquaintance on the dating site was a nice man who thought we should have coffee. I met him and we have been together for over a year and are planning our marriage. We are going to have a service by a chaplain, but we are not making it legal—except in the eyes of God. We are in our 80’s, and feel that because of our financial situations and our pre-nup, it would simplify things. Tell your readers you “don’t always have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince!” Signed,  Happy Camper

Dear Happy: Thank you for writing. It is good to hear dating site successes! Best wishes for a happy life. GG

Dear Gabby Gayle:  My husband is retired now, and I still work part-time. I am younger than he, and I am very active with our church and my friends.  My dear husband does not want to do anything! He acts hurt when I leave him home alone, but he won’t go with me. I urge him to volunteer or get a hobby. Any ideas you or your readers have to get him going would be appreciated. He is a good husband, not a drinker. He has had a successful career. I don’t want to sit around myself! Signed, BL

Dear BL:  It sounds to me like he may be depressed and need professional intervention. Depression is a mysterious malady and is serious. We think our urging and coaxing will snap them out of it, but it does not work that way. They simply cannot get out of it without help. Please get help for him. Approach this in a loving way, and I would not leave him alone for long periods of time until he gets help.  Let me know how it goes.

With medication and counseling, he could greatly improve. If he will not go to the doctor, please go to the doctor for professional advice for him. GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: I have a delicate problem. My nineteen year old granddaughter, whom I love dearly, has asked to borrow money from me, but says she cannot tell me why she needs it. She also says her parents cannot know about it. She said she needs $1,000. She seems rather desperate, and I have plenty of money, but I told her I would have to think about it. Meanwhile, I am asking Gabby Gayle! Help! Signed, ???

Dear ???: You realize when you ask me for help you are getting one person’s opinion, and I can only tell you what I would do in this situation. I see several problems if it were my  problem. I have given small amounts of money to grandchildren from time to time. Like gas money or something like that. I don’t  believe I would give $1,000. to one without their parents’ knowledge, and I am certain the parents would want to know why she needs it. With my limited knowledge I would suspect she might want it for an abortion or some cosmetic thing, or even a gambling debt. If that were true, think of the consequences if something went wrong, and you were found to be the money lender! I would try to talk to my granddaughter about the fact that there is nothing so bad that you should be afraid to tell your parents or grandparents. Nothing is so bad it cannot be fixed. I would say that I would be glad to help out with her parents’ approval. Explain the consequences of deception in your own life (if there are any…I have some). I might even say if she doesn’t tell them, I might feel obligated to tell them about the request. You might offer to go with her to tell the parents. Although she may lose trust in you, if you were to do this without her. You have to weigh the situation for yourself. Good luck. GG

If you have a question for Gabby Gayle please send it to “Ask Gabby Gayle” in care of this newspaper or email it to her direct at lagmancreswick@gmail.com

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