Ask Gabby Gayle


By Gayle Lagman-Creswick

Dear Gabby Gayle:  Retirement is nothing like I thought it would be.  I get up when I want. I go to bed when I want. I go out to lunch with friends. I spend time with family. However, I feel empty. I retired from a job I loved to do this.

Weekends and holidays are just another day of the week. They used to be special. What is wrong with me? I think I need help! Signed, Lost

Dear Lost:  This is my thinking: People do not plan for what they are going to do when they no longer go to work every day. While you are working, you say to yourself, “ Soon I won’t have to get up every morning and enter the rat race, etc. And you think how nice that will be. And it can feel good for awhile. Some people need more– they need to be busy making a difference. Many people are starting new careers. Something totally different than what they did before. Once I was purchasing something at the supermarket guest counter and began chatting with the employee. He told me he used to be a bank president! He said he felt useless after retiring and so got this part time job-no headaches, just enjoying the work and the customers.. He seemed very happy. That is my suggestion, and I practice what I preach. I used to work with retired folks all my first career. Now I work with kids and I love it too. I think it is good for my mind and good for my body. I still have time to go to the gym and meet with friends. Oh, and I write this column … for 14 years now! And I love it. Good  luck! GG

 Dear Gabby Gayle:  I told my adult children the other day that I plan to donate my body to science. They had a fit. “Why would you do such a thing?’ they asked. I said, for several reasons: I think the price of funerals and all the fluff is ridiculous, I would like to help advance science, and I see all these graves that people either forget about, or they almost worship as if that person is really there. I don’t want that for me. Do I do it their way or mine? Signed, BA

Dear BA:  I am so tempted to be flippant and say, “It’s your party and you can do as you want to”, however, your kids deserve consideration, so I will say talk to them about your feelings.. If they are dead set about having your ashes, most reliable body donation places will do the cremation when they are through with you and send to family. Good luck. GG


Dear Gabby Gayle:  I was romantically scammed on a dating site. I visited with this guy for three months. We are both liberals. He was three years younger than I. I am 55. He has a twenty year old daughter who has some special needs, he said. We started talking about love and marriage. He is working overseas and is planning on retiring soon and would come to my city to live. I was beginning to get nervous because I had yet to meet him face-to-face. Then it happened. He said his daughter was in need of some medical help and he didn’t have access to his funds to help her. Would I help her with $5000 dollars and he would pay me back. He seemed so truthful. However, I knew in my heart this was a warning sign. I told him I could not do that. We went back and forth on this and I finally said I thought he was a scammer. That was the last I heard from him. I feel so stupid. Please warn your readers! JJ

Dear JJ:  The scammers are everywhere. I play Words with Friends on line and a guy tried to strike up with me. He was the age of my kids! You were smart to wake up in time not to lose money. To all my readers: Never send money or give them any information where they could clean out your bank account! GG

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