Ask Gabby Gayle


By Gayle Lagman-Creswick

Dear Gabby Gayle: I read in your column about these people that find themselves in retirement and become bored and you tell them to get busy and do stuff, even suggesting getting a job! My question is this: What’s wrong with doing nothing? I have been doing nothing for five years and I think it is great. I stay up late, I sleep in late. I lunch with friends. I thoroughly enjoy myself, and I think I have earned it after all those years in the rat race. What do you think of that? Signed, Happy Girl

Dear Happy: I think that is perfectly fine! My answer was to a person who felt “doing nothing” was depressing them. Whatever floats your boat is OK with me! Enjoy yourself. P.S. Just remember sitting is the new smoking – bad for your health! Sorry, I couldn’t resist. GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: I am writing to you because I am so happy. I took your advice and joined a dating site. I kissed a few frogs, but then I met a guy with whom I clicked. We have been dating for about six months. Thank you and keep up the good advice. AB

Dear AB: Congratulations! Dating sites may not be for everyone, but glad it worked out for you. GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: I met a guy on a dating site and we had three dates. His profile said he was divorced. During a conversation he indicated he was separated. Not even legally. They just weren’t living together. I asked him why and he said it was easier financially. I have a problem with that, but he doesn’t see why. What do you think? Signed, Worried

Dear Worried: I am with you! What I really think is that he “wants his cake and wants to eat it too”. It appears he is looking for sex with no future. If you want that, I guess that is ok. Personally, I think the “gift without the giver” is boring and a waste of my time. Good luck. GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: So many men I have met say they are looking for someone to marry or they are just looking for someone to sleep with. Whatever happened to “let’s be friends and see if something develops”, and if it doesn’t that is ok too. You can’t have too many friends! Men really are from Mars! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! Signed, MM

Dear MM: I am uneasy dating either of those guys you mentioned. If they are looking for someone to marry it reminds me of when I go to the meat market to pick out a good steak! And if they are looking for someone to sleep with it sounds like I feel when eating dry toast. Yikes! GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: My dear husband was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer and is having hormone treatments. Intimate relations are out of the question for us. Any advice? Signed, Mr. and Mrs.

Dear Mr. and Mrs.: I have heard from my readers that there is an intimacy far greater than sexual intimacy that one discovers when faced with losing one’s life partner. They tell me it is the deepest form of love. I wish that for you. Signed, GG

Dear Readers: Since this column is appearing in February, I decided to include the letters having to do with dating and love! For those of you who are not in the dating scene, I apologize. Tune in next month! If you have a question for Gabby Gayle, please send it to

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