Ask Gabby Gayle


By Gayle Lagman-Creswick

Dear Gabby Gayle: The article signed by Happy Girl about doing nothing in retirement struck home with me. After I fully retired in June 2019 I would get all kinds of advice from people on what I should be doing in retirement. When I told them “I’m doing absolutely nothing and loving it,” they would say, “You just can’t do nothing.” My pat answer was this: “This is my retirement and I’ve never been happier!” Everyone is wired a bit differently. It’s nice not having to answer a 5 a.m. alarm or be expected to be at a place at a certain time. I knew for years this is the kind of retirement I wanted. Signed, BH

Dear BH: You are right, of course, thank you for reminding me, “To each his own.” Sometimes I forget that. GG 

Dear Gabby Gayle: I read your headline in the January issue and read the letter from LOST, along with your advice to her. I have another suggestion: St. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless, Lord, until they rest in thee.” Translation: Do some of God’s work and you will find purpose and happiness. What does that mean? Find a charitable cause that uses your talents and try it out. There are literally thousands of charities that would love to have help … And unlike work, you can choose which hours you volunteer. There are three sources of joy you get from charity work…enjoyable people to work with, recipients who are usually grateful, and you will feel a joyful self-satisfaction from helping those in need … I have always felt that I got more joy out of helping people than the recipients of my effort. I guarantee you can find purpose, peace, and joy. Signed, Joyful in Retirement

Dear Joyful: Thank you for a very thoughtful letter. I too enjoy volunteering and I see that it has carried over to my children, which is most gratifying! GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: Your recent columns where you were discussing how to get off the healthcare merry go round made me stop and think. I don’t think most of us really think about that. We just go merrily along and go to the doctor when something is wrong and let them tell us what to do. Then we end up in the last lap of life spending hundreds of thousands of Medicare money on treatment we did not want in the first place. Thank you for making me think about what I really want this home stretch to be like! Signed MBW

Dear MBW: Thank you for writing. I recently read “I’ll Have it my Way” by Hattie Bryant (Taking Control of End-of-Life Decisions). I highly recommend it. GG

Dear Gabby Gayle: My friend and I recently discovered your column and we like it, but we understand you have been doing this for years. Have you ever thought of writing a book using your best columns? We would like to catch up! Signed, B and G

Dear B and G: As a matter of fact one of my publishers has suggested that to me, and I have begun work on it. I will let you know when and if it publishes! Thank you for reading! GG!

Dear Gabby Gayle: What advice would you give to a guy who wants a partner for intimacy only, without a relationship? Signed, W

Dear W: I would say as some would know: It would be like eating dry toast for me. And I do not like dry toast. Although I guarantee there are those who like dry toast. GG

Dear Readers: I received many letters regarding volunteering. I also received several letters from those who say, “We are happy just doing nothing, leave us alone.” If you are happy and satisfied with what you are doing, I have no advice. If you are unhappy with your current state of being in retirement, we have offered an abundance of advice. Onward and upward! GG

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